Suppressing

This past few past,
i tried to suppress any stress and worries,
not thinking too much, let everything flow as it is.

the days felt faster,
the nights felt shorter..
waking up with sore eyes..
it feels so cozy being on bed,
nevertheless, the bed should be my sworn enemy, hmm...

for now, the clinic runs swiftly.
Not thinking too much about patient..
like my Dr always says "tak payah fikir sangat pasal patient,
we had done our part, x yah pening2 dah"
another Dr would say "sape suruh dia x jaga gigi dia elok2"
ok, maybe not a very good quote -_-
but at least to give my heart at ease for the time
until the next session will start.

right now, feeding my addiction to b2st ^_^

Sick 2

My second wave of viral fever came back after 2 years. the symptoms and duration were just the same except that this one does not start with a 'ketumbit'. overall, it may be initiated by having too much stress, too much worries...wallahualam

this time around, i vomit a lot everytime i ate my medicine. then, i just couldn't stand to drink plain water or eat  anything. it all give me the thought of puking.
for the past 4 days, i could only eat a spoonful for every meal.
for the past 4 nights, i couldn't sleep properly, waking every hour, the dreams were very disturbing.
i slept with my mother for two nightsthinking it would be easier to go to sleep, it worsen. my head were burning all night making it harder to sleep.
after a couple of time went to the clinic, check my blood, taking many many pills....which i couldn't take any more...
my fever finally relieved when i finally can sleep soundly on my bed, on my own.

alhamdulillah, for He has grant me this gift again.


right now my condition, quite dizzy

Coming Back

Coming back to campus. Officially i'm announced as 4th year dental student. still alot more to learn, alot more requirement to fulfill. Within a few clinic I had these few days, haven’t been what I had expected(seriously when had it been?)

being in a new cubicle, a new dental chair, and partners, makes it all different. Feeling quiet depressed at the moment since my patient could not spend the whole time at the clinic as it was supposed to be. Nonetheless, I knw He had other better plans for me….

Looking back, none of my patient never seems to fill my criteria, but I guess it is as what I can bare of. Bracing myself of what to come. Got to be more resilient..tebal muka panggil patient datang in whatever the circumstances is.

How time flies

3rd year was the hardest year I had ever encounter(for now). The most damp year with tears and despair. Yet it is the fastest year. I could still remember the day I injected my friend with LA, having difficulty making her impression and gently scaling her teeth. How every simple thing seems to be a very nerve-racking situation for me.

Now I’m in my 4th year which I’m expected to know everything, still only get a hang of class I and scaling. Trying to be as gentle as possible to my patient(hehe)

Happy 8th Birthday!

Last tuesday was my little brother's birthday. He was anticipating it for about a month before it come into term.

so we went to buy his favourite chocolate cake and a pencil box present for him that afternoon. A kid enthusiasm is indescribable when it comes to their birthdays. No candle of course.

the next day, he came back from school with a present in his hand. somebody had given him a present. what's really astonishing that it came from a 15 year old boy at the school. Words had it that he really adores Fauzul. how nice is that! wish i had a secret admirer...

still, i don't blame that boy, i myself still adore him (even though he annoys me now and then).

i don't know when will this stop. i remember that whenever i had a new brother or sister, i always adore them until the next one came. but what will you do with the last one?

Xm

Yesterday was the day the result came out for our first clinical year. Before the day came, we had to wait for 3 days( which in reality is longer than that). The theory papers had finished 2 weeks before The next 2 weeks were for our clinical exams (3 session)

The clinical exams

Which I had done poorly,

GS: “owh, you’re going to fail, man” These words I would never forget, be it an act of psychology or just plainly scolding me. That what made me burst…..as I went into the quarantine room. I thought to myself “ I shouldn’t be like this” “stop it, stop it”, the lecturer were there,

thank god I was among of the earliest, the emotion dried away, and more importantly I managed to escape the mva cases (o_0). The short case was a big helped I guess for my score(hmm..)

GM: “ok, this patient has a renal problem, what more would you ask?” I started with “owh….ahh……” why did it have to be renal which I didn’t revise at all for this exams (tend to go for target subjects only) even though I would know it (supposedly) I went blank nevertheless tried to answer stutteringly.

a result made from wardrounds started about 2 month ago.

The day: Alhamdulillah, I manage to make it. I passed all 12 subjects. All praise be to Him.

For someone who had failed 5 subject before, I am very grateful.

All that I could think of was what my friend had said to me “ it was all up to our prayers if we were ever to make it”

to my friends, don't be sad, we will always be there to support you and pray for you. i'm ready to help you guys.

thoughts

When my eyes couldn’t shut tight

My heart keeps on racing

When I do close my eyes

Flashes of light keeps popping out of nowhere

My eyes is in a REM state

By I’m not sleeping

My heart keeps on racing

What is it that made me hook up

My heart felt as if it would burst

My brain felt small and getting smaller

As if it is being crush

What is this thoughts~