Touched My Heart

On this glorious morning....

on the new beginning of the year

1st Muharram

let us reflect back what we have done up until now...

have we done anything as a muslim

what have we done so far 

...to gain Allah's Love

His Love

despite our negligence and repulsion

His love and compassion never stops to flow towards us

to His frail ungrateful servants

His grace and sustenance has 

until now

 overflow onto us

are we not mindful of that?

are we not aware of his blessings?

all that is exist around us is a blessing from Him

our home to sleep

our family

our friends

...and the plans that is in store for us to come

IS a blessing for us

And true

the greatest blessing that had bestowed upon us

the blessing that have been forgotten

which has been with us since long

is being a MU'MIN

لا اله الا الله

verily He is the most gracious

Touched the hearts for those who listens

"Ya Rahman, have compassion on our weakness

O Ghafar, forgive our sins

O Sattaru, conceal our faults"

Teguhnya

Ya Allah...
damaikanlah hati-hati kami...

Teguhnya seorang ibu
ibu sememangnya kuat
bagaimana kamu mampu mananggung?
menampung perit di hati

mampukah aku nanti?

ibu memang hebat
demi anak-anak tercinta
terus teguh menghadapi
sememangnya wanita yang kuat itu
terukir senyuman di bibirnya
sedang sabar cuba dibina

namun susah ku mahu ungkapkan sayang
hanya mampu ku lihat di sisi
pendengar setia buatmu

umi...nisah sayang umi sangat-sangat...

He Knows

Syukur Alhamdulillah all Praise to Allah,

the Most Gracious the Most Merciful...

He who always hear our prayers..our cry...

verily, He who knows what is best for us,

what we can afford, what we can bear,

What we really need...

at the right moment

at the right time.

He is the All Knowing, the Great Planner...

and truly He Knows:

 "Indeed what is to come is better for you than what has gone by"
(93:4)

I always pray for you my friends

this friendship will never end

it will never wither

As the bond in the name of Allah

will never break...

Strong as we were together

Stronger still will it be when we've parted

In every single moment and day

in triump and in sorrow

you have been in my Du'a 

..always

tahan

Kemarahan bukan mudah ditanggung

Bukan mudah ditahan

Demi ikatan ukhuwwah ini

Sanggup ku menahan

Keberangan diganti duka kecewa

Apa kan daya diri seorang hamba

Hanya mampu menahan

Perit bersama air mata..

Usaha

Allah bersama kita

“Hidup ini harus kaya dengan kerja-kerja besar,

Cita-cita tinggi dan usaha keras tanpa henti”

quote from BroHamzah of LangitIlahi.

Kata-kata yang sangat ‘inspirational’

Membuka mata dari lamunan

Menyedarkan hati yang alpa

Hidup kita bukan sekadar untuk diteruskan sahaja

Bukan juga sekadar menjalaninya sahaja

Kita tidak sepatutnya menjadi mangsa keadaan

Tapi kitalah yang mencipta keadaan

Bersama kekuatan dan usaha gigih

Beserta tawakal dan pengharapan yang tinggi

insyaAllah, dengan izinNya

what we plan will come true

…and what He has plan for us

That IS the best for us

--to be the better person..for this UMMAH

It is  not about the flow

But the EFFORTS that counts

Might

2 months to go
a lot more to be done
can i manage?
can i attain it?

all that's left is doing out of my might
and strive to do my very best
that's how i'll achieve my ultimate goal

still remembering what Dr L had said to one of my friend on how to strive hard
...there would always be something sweet behind every bitterness ^^

To Do

what there is to say
do what i can, i will

"what is there to be worried about?'
..asked a friend,
"the more you're distressed, it wouldn't change anything.
the time wouldn't extend as we want it to be.
what will be done, will be done"

all that's left is is my effort
must get through.
no matter what.

Admit n Move On

Disturbing thoughts had been running in and out of my mind

troubles from before to present

circulating, repeatedly... struck my mind

haunting me all through the nights

Then realizing

shouldn't have kept it to myself

it will only suffocate me

everyone around is there for me now

as long as i'm still studying here

friends and teachers are there

even if..

even if I have to admit everything

it is for the benefits of my conscience.

the sunset means a new beginning will come

Sad Music..preferably

During this stressful moments

and sad times

hearing to sad songs is most preferably

especially this one

yes....a repeating lyrics

is still suits me and what my mind is telling me

hmm~

p/s: never known the singers...heard it as an ost

Mixed Feelings

sakit hati...sedih...hampa...stress

kata2 orang berputus asa
tapi apa kan daya
kita hanya insan biasa

kadang kita diuji seketika
hati sudah mula membara
menyalah kan takdir tanpa sedar

hanya insan yang sabar
iman yang teguh
redha yang tinggi
mampu menyusuri

---kita sentiasa mengharap orang disekeliling dapat merasakan dan memahami apa yang kita rasa
------kita sentiasa mengharap kawan yang dipanggil sahabat itu jua dapat memahami rasa kasih kita padanya
---------kasih yang tidak mengharap apa-apa balasan~~hanya mengharap kefahaman-nya

~~~tetapi seikhlas manakah kasih kita?

Minor Bumps

       The first thought that i would want to say here is how stressful my dental life is. this past few weeks i've been faced with very difficult clinic session following with very unpleasant reviews...

But in the end of the day..I've realize nothing beats the calmness that you would earn after noticing that Allah and Islam itself will still be there for you. Reading some of the post in FB i've stumbled upon a quote saying, Hadis Rasulullah: “ Seandainya aku berjalan bersama saudaraku untuk memenuhi sesuatu hajat,maka hal itu lebih aku cintai daripada iktikaf sebulan di masjid”. It says that melaksanakan kerja2 islam lebih utama daripada melakukan ibadah2 sunat.
     
 Of all the things that we're worried of, studies and etc, it is still not the biggest problem yet (not that we don't have to be concern about it). Realizing that how big the world is, and how big our responsibility as muslim..made me aware that every difficulty that we face is just a minor bumps we have to endure along this path of Islam.
       
What really matter is that our work for Islam still very long, need to be consistent, and that is the requirement from Allah to be a true muslim.

Hadis Rasulullah:Org yg paling dicintai Allah swt adalah org yg paling bermanfaat kepada orang lain. Amal yg paling dicintai Allah adalah memasukkan kegembiraan dalam hati org muslim,menghilgkan kesulitannya,melunasi hutangnya atau mengusir rasa laparnya.

Still very please to be a future dentist:)

oh STRESS

oh...i am soo stress out right now...
the end of the year is coming by

that means our CDP presentation is coming up
RESEARCH!

i don't know what will happen
when we did the proposal...all that i could think of is, to finish and be done with the proposal
so we just took a title that is in store for us as long as it does not include questionnaires..

now looking back...it could be hardest part yet to get the 1 type of tooth we're looking for
since we need to look for it
which means we could POSSIBLY get it
which means---> we may or may not get it
or in other words---> there is a steep chance of getting the required teeth needed

i'm so confused right now...
once there were a doctor asking about the significance of it
i couldn't answer
yes...there is a significance...still not very strong

changing the title has always been revolving in my mind
but still i'm still holding on what my friend said in these crucial times
" we just have to make do with what we have.."

Yassir ummura na Ya Allah
Rabbi Yassir wala tu'assir

End of my free will

Tomorrow will be the last day before i start my new sem. This monday I will be attach to a clinic in KL, doing God knows what, probably just observing... I hope
This three whole week break felt somewhat long in the beginning however relentlessly to be quiet short at the very end.  For sure, I had very much enjoyed staying away from the faculty, not thinking at all about patients. Given my mind a rest. For a while.
    Nevertheless, everything have it's end of the toll. Next up, got to get my phones ready, numbers, patients, research (argh!!!) brace myself for the new sem. The final year.

                                      4th Year.....
A lot of memories made. Clinics. Mistakes. Regrets. Stress
                                         Disagreement. Distress.
             Fun. Eating non stop. Friends. Relieved.

4th year 11/12

 Come to think about it, we had 3 group performances just for this year. Talk about hectic clinics.
We were also given a chance to go to Bangkok. Great trip. Good Food.

Conclusion

                                                             

                     

Foods to Indulge

  For this sem break for about 3 weeks, i have been cooking and baking a little. some were great..some were so-so. Nonetheless I still enjoy cooking whenever I am hungry. Well, that is the only time I would force myself to cook. Twice had i bake an apple pie for breaking fast, the first try was much better than the later. twice also had i made macaroni curry bakar, still couldn't get the macaroni stick together the way they should have. Then some other common stuff.

My sister came back from egypt. thinking she may have wanted to bake us anything...the ingredients were all ready brought from Egypt. however the baker is not that into the mood yet. She said,"the mood will come.... when somebody would pay a visit for raya", And so she did. she was enthusiast when her friends were to come, baking muffins and pavlova.

Pavlova. Nice one. Dreadful to make.

I wonder what she would cook if that certain somebody came for a visit :P

Moving after Raya, comimg back from kampung, we(me and my sister) went to TS and Lowyat. Since she never been there, i'm in charge of the routes...which I am quite crafty at the time.
We had somewhat an enjoying time which was quite short since we arrived ther in the afternoon. Stuff our tummies full with lunch before starting anything, it is somehow quite tiring really after that to walk. Very tiring.

lunch with bul go gi. Got me fulled in seconds

 We were chasing after time, and it was a troublesome chasing to go back at 4.00, walking towards the LRT station, changing stations...
in the end...at least I got to go somewhere that week.
the rest of the days, just sitting at home -_-

Suppressing

This past few past,
i tried to suppress any stress and worries,
not thinking too much, let everything flow as it is.

the days felt faster,
the nights felt shorter..
waking up with sore eyes..
it feels so cozy being on bed,
nevertheless, the bed should be my sworn enemy, hmm...

for now, the clinic runs swiftly.
Not thinking too much about patient..
like my Dr always says "tak payah fikir sangat pasal patient,
we had done our part, x yah pening2 dah"
another Dr would say "sape suruh dia x jaga gigi dia elok2"
ok, maybe not a very good quote -_-
but at least to give my heart at ease for the time
until the next session will start.

right now, feeding my addiction to b2st ^_^

Sick 2

My second wave of viral fever came back after 2 years. the symptoms and duration were just the same except that this one does not start with a 'ketumbit'. overall, it may be initiated by having too much stress, too much worries...wallahualam

this time around, i vomit a lot everytime i ate my medicine. then, i just couldn't stand to drink plain water or eat  anything. it all give me the thought of puking.
for the past 4 days, i could only eat a spoonful for every meal.
for the past 4 nights, i couldn't sleep properly, waking every hour, the dreams were very disturbing.
i slept with my mother for two nightsthinking it would be easier to go to sleep, it worsen. my head were burning all night making it harder to sleep.
after a couple of time went to the clinic, check my blood, taking many many pills....which i couldn't take any more...
my fever finally relieved when i finally can sleep soundly on my bed, on my own.

alhamdulillah, for He has grant me this gift again.


right now my condition, quite dizzy

Coming Back

Coming back to campus. Officially i'm announced as 4th year dental student. still alot more to learn, alot more requirement to fulfill. Within a few clinic I had these few days, haven’t been what I had expected(seriously when had it been?)

being in a new cubicle, a new dental chair, and partners, makes it all different. Feeling quiet depressed at the moment since my patient could not spend the whole time at the clinic as it was supposed to be. Nonetheless, I knw He had other better plans for me….

Looking back, none of my patient never seems to fill my criteria, but I guess it is as what I can bare of. Bracing myself of what to come. Got to be more resilient..tebal muka panggil patient datang in whatever the circumstances is.

How time flies

3rd year was the hardest year I had ever encounter(for now). The most damp year with tears and despair. Yet it is the fastest year. I could still remember the day I injected my friend with LA, having difficulty making her impression and gently scaling her teeth. How every simple thing seems to be a very nerve-racking situation for me.

Now I’m in my 4th year which I’m expected to know everything, still only get a hang of class I and scaling. Trying to be as gentle as possible to my patient(hehe)

Happy 8th Birthday!

Last tuesday was my little brother's birthday. He was anticipating it for about a month before it come into term.

so we went to buy his favourite chocolate cake and a pencil box present for him that afternoon. A kid enthusiasm is indescribable when it comes to their birthdays. No candle of course.

the next day, he came back from school with a present in his hand. somebody had given him a present. what's really astonishing that it came from a 15 year old boy at the school. Words had it that he really adores Fauzul. how nice is that! wish i had a secret admirer...

still, i don't blame that boy, i myself still adore him (even though he annoys me now and then).

i don't know when will this stop. i remember that whenever i had a new brother or sister, i always adore them until the next one came. but what will you do with the last one?

Xm

Yesterday was the day the result came out for our first clinical year. Before the day came, we had to wait for 3 days( which in reality is longer than that). The theory papers had finished 2 weeks before The next 2 weeks were for our clinical exams (3 session)

The clinical exams

Which I had done poorly,

GS: “owh, you’re going to fail, man” These words I would never forget, be it an act of psychology or just plainly scolding me. That what made me burst…..as I went into the quarantine room. I thought to myself “ I shouldn’t be like this” “stop it, stop it”, the lecturer were there,

thank god I was among of the earliest, the emotion dried away, and more importantly I managed to escape the mva cases (o_0). The short case was a big helped I guess for my score(hmm..)

GM: “ok, this patient has a renal problem, what more would you ask?” I started with “owh….ahh……” why did it have to be renal which I didn’t revise at all for this exams (tend to go for target subjects only) even though I would know it (supposedly) I went blank nevertheless tried to answer stutteringly.

a result made from wardrounds started about 2 month ago.

The day: Alhamdulillah, I manage to make it. I passed all 12 subjects. All praise be to Him.

For someone who had failed 5 subject before, I am very grateful.

All that I could think of was what my friend had said to me “ it was all up to our prayers if we were ever to make it”

to my friends, don't be sad, we will always be there to support you and pray for you. i'm ready to help you guys.

thoughts

When my eyes couldn’t shut tight

My heart keeps on racing

When I do close my eyes

Flashes of light keeps popping out of nowhere

My eyes is in a REM state

By I’m not sleeping

My heart keeps on racing

What is it that made me hook up

My heart felt as if it would burst

My brain felt small and getting smaller

As if it is being crush

What is this thoughts~